For someone who has never experienced it, sex can seem like a wild, crazy thing that is very difficult to attempt. Media and other people have probably told you that sex is incredible, and that your first time should be like a fairy tale. The problem is that not all sex is awesome, and if you are both virgins, it can be especially difficult. You need to have realistic expectations and a plan if you want your first time to go well and not be a disappointment. Most people have embarrassing stories about their first time doing the deed, but that doesn’t have to be you. Here are a few tips to make sure that you don’t royally mess up the first time that you have sex.
Are You Ready?If you are being pressured into sex, or if you feel like you are rushing into things too fast, then do not do it. That is the big picture, the bottom line, the end game. You do not need to have sex if you don’t feel that you are ready. Your first time should be planned out, with the right person, and it should be exciting. If you are dreading the experience stop right there and wait a little longer. You’ll be glad later you did, and don’t let anyone around you make you feel bad for protecting your virginity.
Make a game plan. You probably don’t want to lose your virginity to some random stranger in the backseat of a car. If you don’t want that, don’t let it happen! You control the when the where and the who of your first go. If everything isn’t the way you pictured it, there is no shame in backing out. You want your first time to be memorable, and that means making a plan and sticking to it. Don’t let pressure from anyone screw that up for you.
Use protection. Birth control, condom, whatever it is, you two need to make sure that you don’t get anyone pregnant or contract an STD. Do thorough exams before having sex, if you can, and remember to always protect yourself before having sex. You first time having sex will be totally ruined if genital sores or babies are involved. There is no excuse not to wear a condom. There are plenty of sizes, and there are latex free ones for the sensitive skinned people out there.
Magic? Not LikelyDon’t expect your fist time having sex to be godlike. Like everything, sex takes practice, and in all likelihood you’ll end up flopping around for a little bit and having a bit of fun and then it will be over. The point is not to get your expectations up too high. Go in with the mindset that sex probably isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, and hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised rather than bitterly disappointed.
It’s not some serious movie sex scene or some hard core porn screening. Do what you are comfortable with and above all, try new things. This is your time to have fun, to try things out, and to learn. Talk to your partner, ask them what they want from you and tell them what you want from them, and your sex will be so much better. You’ll find out a lot about yourself, and you’ll find out a lot about what your partner likes if you take the opportunity to learn. And afterwards, don’t make it awkward, just continue on with life and be happy about it, Sex isn’t as big a deal as everyone seems to think, and it should be fun, especially for your first time.